Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A happy ending (for another year)

Time to celebrate another year of the world's worst person being a literal loser. Tonight, Kobe Bryant's Lakers got smoked by the Boston Celtics. It couldn't have happened to anyone I like less. Why, might you ask?

1. He is a rapist. If it weren't for a multimillion dollar settlement, he'd be behind bars.
(By the way, smart move on his part to settle. Say the case went to trial and he goes to jail for 2 years. He loses $30 million plus in salary for those two years. What is $4 million compared to $30? Not much)
2. He's a spoiled, immature, little man. Let's not forget that he drove Shaq out of L.A. Not being content with that, he got a 9-time world champion coach fired. Then, after all that, he demands an offseason trade a few years later. Let's see...you don't want to play for a terrible team that is terrible because of the decisions YOU made. I'm thinking that someone doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions.
3. Enough already of the Jordan comparisons. Kobe is talented. However, he doesn't bring out the best in anyone around him. Did Jordan ever lay any eggs in the finals like Kobe did this year? I doubt it. Kobe, you are your own worst enemy.
4. (Disclaimer--this is not strictly about Kobe alone, although he is the player who most exemplifies it.) Kobe expects to get every call to go his way all the time. He's never fouled a guy in a game--or so it would seem.
5. He's a horrible teammate. About the only thing I've heard from his current teammates this year is how he is a good teammate. Why? Because he picks up the check at dinner. Hmmm...he's the highest paid guy on the team. He makes many millions of dollars every year. How does him paying for dinner (for other millionaires) make him a good person?

I could go on, but I'm worked up enough for today. Enjoy Kobe liberation day. Let's hope to celebrate again next year, shall we?